Dear Kitchenaid Mixer,

If you were a person, you would surely be a woman. You are red and while that can be a bold man's color, in this case, it makes you a woman. You even bow out where your hips would be. You're strong, sturdy, and very pretty.

I know I call you a bitch--that's because you can really be a pain. You're heavy and take up a lot of counter space.

One day, I'll have more counter space and I promise I'll design the decor of my kitchen around your beautiful red-ness. Right now, though, away in a cabinet you go until the next big project.

Ps--Thank you for the help creaming the butter and sugar tonight. It would have been much more difficult if you weren't here to help!